An extra hint of patience with a little understanding, sprinkled with love.
Sunday, October 21, 2012 ( 11:40 pm )

A feeling.
The feeling.
The feeling of wanting something that you can't have or can't have yet.
Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I don't mind it. But most times I am grateful of it.
But then during the early stages, you just can't resist yourself, or your emotions.
How optimistic can you be?
Is it alright to be a pessimist at times?
Or must we see things as opportunities?
But not everything is a piece of cake.
How do you resist yourself from wanting something consistent?
How do you stop yourself from always wanting the attention?
How do you do it? Even though you're well aware that reality is, that's just how its supposed to be.
All you need is an extra hint of patience with a little understanding, sprinkled with love.
You know you have it in you.. somewhere. You know where to find it.
But at the same time, you just don't want to feel like you don't have anything.
At the same time, you don't want to be put aside, like you're just a side dish, and not the main course.
And at the same time, you want to shower the attention source with love, care and sweetness.
But that just can't happen.
And you have to tell yourself no.
And that's hard.
That's harsh.
Because you know you're not a priority.
And you know some need their space.
But someday you will be a priority, right?
Someday you'll be apart of that space, everyday, every minute, every moment of life until you're dying day.
If only you could speed up time to the time you want to come.
The time where you can do all the things mentioned.
And no one can say anything about it.
But you must.
You must accept what is happening.
Don't be sad, surely Allah is with us.
Tell it to Him.
Tell Him how you feel.
And once that is done, surely you will feel better.
With hopes that He will give you enough patience, and strength.
And InsyaAllah, He will help you through the journey.
He knows what's in your heart.
He knows what you're going through.
He knows everything.
And there is nothing you can hide.
But He will give you what you want.
And if not now, then later.
And if not ever, then something better.
So may He protect you from the aweful feelings.
May He put aside the negative thoughts.
May He guide you to prepare yourself for the future.
And may He unite you with what you want, soon.

Everything takes time. Brushing your teeth takes a little time, reading a book takes a little bit longer, and even falling in love and being with the one takes up sometime before that can be achieved. At times I can be ridiculous. But if I want something, I'm sure of it, I know when the feeling comes. If it is worth it, I will wait. And I will keep and save all that I wish, inside this heart of mine. Until that "one day" comes. Just like how everyone knows cats are cute.

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