Expect the unexpected
Saturday, June 26, 2010 ( 9:40 pm )


Thursday night, thinking of nothing. Looking at Jesse St. James, my desktop background. And what exactly is nothing?

But wait. I sense motion. There are words floating inside my mind. And what words but the wise would speak without the mind? Living beyond the valley of boredom, AGAIN, I begin to think, and think, and think.

After days of hard work, I've finally found some time for me, and you ofcourse. And it will forever be here where I share with you what goes on inside the delightful piece of mind of mine.

Tis true, I feel lightness today. And that lightness brings closeness, and that means "okay"ness. :)

cheerful, not serious. E.g. light music.

This morning, I felt heaviness on my chest. Like a cat sleeping on it, not bothering to wake up(damn that cat). But towards the end of the day, despite feeling sleepy through out it, I begin to feel lightness, as if a beautiful white dove had came and flown away with my burden.

It's funny how you plan things, but they don't usually turn out the way you want it to. Well, expect the unexpected they say. Whether you've expected it or not, if it makes you happy, it makes you happy. And here comes another smile :) I'm doing better with my classmates. Being forced to work together as a whole brings out that togetherness and that just make things into a whole lot of fun and excitement. I've found a friend who I seem to be comfortable with, and that's another plus. This is where it all starts. And I don't even have to put my smiling mask on :)

Well enough of the jibber jabber. There are things that bother me from time to time. Not being able to sing my heart out to Bohemian Rhapsody simply feels like someone stranggling me. Having to face a certain someone every single day who reminds me much of a certain someone kills me too. It's like right through the heart, ya know?

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I became heartless, again.. It'd probably be like someone took my heart out while I was sleeping and burried it six feet under the cold ice of Antartica where the penguins freeze to death while waiting for their spouses to come back and bring back food for their expected child. Damn, that's cold. I'd probably be the most cold-hearted person in the world. Fascinating, dont you think?

Scratch that. I'm done here. I'm so sleepy I'd blog while sleeping. Now that would be even more fascinating! Ok. Off I go. Wish me luck for an interview I have tomorrow. And ooh, can't wait for Larian Kakom on Saturday. Pictos, a must! Alright. Goodnight and sleep tight dearest world.

Til then, zzz...


Waking up to the midst of cold air, with just the cold receptors doing their job, makes me shiver in the morning. Larian Kakom. Finally here. After some last minute work(as usual), the results: just about satisfying. Although today was abit to heavy for my alveoli, I guess it was worth the risk. Knowing that I made it back safely to KMPP, I shall give myself a pat on the back. One step taken, a lot more to go. So this is why we expect the unexpected.

Til then, think.

Life is A Roller Coaster with Just Quote Me
Saturday, June 12, 2010 ( 9:37 am )

What a hectic week.
Here I am, on my bed, wondering what next week will be like. Better? Harder? Greater? Uglier?
Only God knows.

It has indeed been a month here. 4 weeks of fun and hell has been nothing but a roller coaster ride. And the tracks just get longer, with more loops, and I shall scream my head off riding it. Brick by boring brick, true colours of the people around me begin to show. Mine's always there, it's just a matter of how they see it. Understanding those around me is a great deal. I must say, it easy peasy lemon squeezy. But what exactly does it take for them to understand me? Not a day has passed without me waking up and looking at myself in the mirror. I have known myself since the first day I was born! Without question, I know who I am. I have noticed much difference between a fair number of girls and I. Most of them here like to watch korean soap operas, while I prefer Glee. Or maybe they prefer Girls Generation while I prefer Spice Girls. I know, I know. This isn't much proof.

I have come to realize that when I walk in the hallways, some people tend to look at me like I'm some sort of weird specimen. Is it the way I dress? How I where my tudung? My shoe size? You see, we can never resist of caring about someone who hardly knows about our existence. Trust me. Been there, done that, OVER IT. There are just some who haven't gotten over it yet, slightly below maturity and etc. Whatever the excuses are, I believe that we must always respect others. How do you expect others to respect yourself? But if we all do it at the same time, life would be too happy and gay, what would be the fun of it?

BUT, aha, then again, if we all did it together, wouldn't it be even more fun and exciting to be a unison? Being in a group, with a bunch of people with all sorts of backgrounds, different personality(good and awful), makes me even more eager to unite.

Copy this, and paste this in your brain:
Respect is important.
Unity unites.
I do enjoy being here. But sometimes I feel that I don't fit in. Is it me or is it them, or both, only God knows. I hope that things will get fixed soon; hope that awkwardness won't hang around anymore. snobs will keep their noses down, and things like that.

Yes, I have realized that I can be a little bit over sensitive sometimes, only because my heart is as soft as a sponge cake. And yes, I have realized I look a bit too nice and innocent, while all along I'm actually a bit loco inside. Well that's not really my fault. Blame my young blood and my decency. And of course yes, it has crossed my mind that maybe I should do something to show that I'm not so dull and boring and quiet and anti-social.But then I realized, that I don't have to prove myself to anyone. Because there is one person who has seen me, what I look like, inside out, as I am. And that's good enough for me. So if you can't see me as I am, then you're missing out all the fun, I suppose. :)

And here's just a few thoughts of wisdom, by none other than the owner of Thoughts of Wisdom himself:
"Sometimes I hate my boss, my work, my life so much I could shoot myself. But then I'd see the sunrise, and.. wow. New morning, new start, all that, jazz. I'd change my mind.. until noon, at least."

Til then, keep smiling and laughing and don't stop believin :D

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