Por Favor, Amigo
Tuesday, May 31, 2011 ( 8:45 pm )

Hola amigos.
I'm home alone. AGAIN.
It's better at night, because then I can just fall asleep on my not so comfy bed and forget that no one's actually at home. There goes mum, off to do her NGO work. And here I am being "supportive", as always, and thinking about why I don't smile as much as I did before. I smiled alot when I was younger. I was pretty much a happy little girl who didn't seem to care about anything but Barbies and Fisher Price. :) Then again I was only little.

And yes amigos, I grew up and continued to smile like I don't care about the world. And I grew up some more.. and some more.. and some more.. and here I am. Talking to you about a piece of smile. And then BOOM. The Wisher has come out from the box. I WISH I still smile like how I smiled back then; during the time when girlfriends and boyfriends weren't worth worrying about, when people yelling about in the house were just music to my ears, etc.

Nevertheless, I did realise something.

Firstly, Kongsi sucks big time(no offense Farid Kamil). Secondly, I am happy, but I do feel like I'm being separated from the real life, and honeez, I ownz The Real Life(imagine Santana Lopez). What I mean is, I feel like someone is separating me from their life and putting me in a pretend one. Sob.

Thirdly, and most importantly, when I'm with my friends, I find that I am well capable of smiling again. They used to put the 'L' in 'Laughter', 'H' in 'Happy' and 'T' in 'Together'. And most importantly, they put the 'Best' in 'Friends'. No doubt that this post is preetty boring. But I just can't keep my fingers away from typing this. I miss all those moments where we celebrate each others birthday and make suprises for them in the school cafeteria. I miss all the "rombongan cik kiah" to Queensbay and mini rombongans to Perangin Mall, the buka puasa moments and the sleepovers, the borrowing of things and forgetting to return them and pretend to forget about the lending and borrowing, the open houses I'd have to gather all my friends, the gossips and stalking nights until 3 am or more, the crazy kodak moments and cadbury moments, and a whole load of other shizz. Man, I wonder what happened to that. Por favor amigo, relive those moments again? :)

Just Quote Me
Monday, May 16, 2011 ( 8:43 pm )

"First, the young ladies.
They must prove worthy of the courtesies we will show them. Soon, boyfriends and marriage will concern you.
No man likes a slut for long. Only the worst type will marry one. And the competition for men on the outside is rough.

Next, men.
l´ve seen garbage collectors who are cleaner.
Toughness is a quality of the mind...like bravery, honesty and ambition. lf you want to wear your hair long, clean it...else you´ll soon get lice and smell. Soon your principle interest will be girls. You will be more attractive with clean clothes, clean shoes...hands, face, teeth, et cetera."

-Mark Thackery, from To Sir, With Love

I Love You To Death
Sunday, May 01, 2011 ( 2:04 pm )

I remember that once upon a time, when yesterday was a fairytale, when I was just 13, I joined the school band, tried to act cool 'cause it was my first year in secondary school. Going to an convent school for 8 years, taught me alot about how to be a girl, more specifically the kinky types, and how to fish for goodlukin' boys from an all-boys school *wink*. That, my fellow readers, will last just about til you finish your SPM, and if you're lucky, up to you're STPM level. Being in an all girls' school will make you want to get to know a bunch of lame-o studs from an all boys' school. For example, CBNers will always have a somewhat chemistry(??) with Victorians and Johannians. This does not only occur to these schools, but also to other schools in other states aswell. It's like, they've been born with matches, no? But then again, some of you would deny it. A common reaction would be, "(desired boy) from (desired school name)? EUWW no way!". This is no language of false pretense. This is the languange of personal experience. Yes you right there I was a silly little girl who denied liking so and so and thought dating so and so would be gross but in the end I ended up with so and so and that didn't really last too long. Nevertheless, I admit I was just a kid knew absolutely nothing and chose her boyfriends based on their looks and who they hung out with. Well, that, ofcourse was back then.

We make a big fuss knowing the first guy we've ever known, don't we? I mean, there I was, chatting away with this dude and then comes my beloved sister,"Adik, are you chatting with a boy?". Out of all that fuss, I'm glad he's not just a boy I decided to chat with to fulfill my dreams of knowing a guy, he's a good friend until now. Almost 6 years of friendship I tell you. Wonderful.

Then I started to mature and grew older and became more independent, less gedik, got intouch with my muslimah side and enjoyed nasi kandar everyday. I fell in and out of love alot of times. It's not a fun ride, but I like to take risks and learn from personal experience. Mum said you just gotta fall in and out of love til you find the right one. I guess, that could be true. No matter how long you've been with a person, how much time you've spent together with, I guess, if he's not the one, then he's not the one. I'm pretty sure God has planned something way better for us, 'cause everything happens for a reason. A really good reason. We just have to be more patient sometimes, to understand and to allow that reason to come to us. Or sometimes we just gotta let go of the old to allow new wonderful happenings to occur.

In this very same post my friends, I would like to pay tribute to a person I don't really know much of. From the things I've heard, he is a great person, a great friend, a good son, a dedicated employee, and one heck of a lover.. Outside, he seems see-through; for example, uncapable of laughing to the most laughable comedy ever. But deep down inside, behind all that transparency crap, he is a man, a real man and has the strongest feelings for a dear friend of mine. He's a job, in other words is economically stable, in other words hubby material. He took care of my friend well, although there had been ups and downs, but he is a wonderful person and has made wonders for her. Although being in a long distance relationship, that did not stop three and a half years together to happen. Both of them were seriously in love, and they really hoped to start a family together someday. That dream almost came true when her mother gave the green light on the whole forget-boyfriend-girlfriend-just-go-on-to-hubby-and-wife idea. I for one, had only witnessed 30 percent of the relationship, and even that little, I feel that the 70 more could of been THAT powerful. He is a good person, I just know it. :)

Ladies and gentlemen, the three and half years has ended. He had met with an accident two days ago and passed away. This tragic news put me into tears, as I knew how strong their love was. It was powerful, and love is the most powerful thing on Earth. It had me thinking, if I were to be in her shoes, it would have possibly felt like my whole life had been sucked out of me. In the past, I know that I've been hurt several times. And besides that, I've also done the hurting several times. Perhaps I was never the right girl for them, and they were probably never the right guy for me. I've learnt my lesson and will do my best to turn the table around. I will cherish and appreciate the only one right now. I'll try to make the best out of everything and hope to enjoy a happy, clean and doubt-free relationship. It is indeed impossible to turn back time, so I will make it up to myself by fixing the future. like the wise words of a father,"you can' t change yesterday, but you can change today and tomorrow."

Despite feeling devasted, I still pray for her happiness, and for all the strength that she would need. Care for the ones close to you. Appreciate the ones you still have. Tell them that you love them everyday. Or even better, tell them once, and spend the rest of your life showing them you love them. To all broken hearts, I'm sorry. To all heartbreakers, I forgive you. To family, friends, and D, I love you. To Allah, to You I look to always.

Adam Muszaphar died a happy man.
He loved, until death.
Love between humans are temporary.
Love towards Allah is indeed..forever.

Til then, chin up, keep smiling, never give up and keep the love alive. :)

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