trust: the key to everything
Friday, March 19, 2010 ( 12:49 pm )

At times when you feel down, you wish you were someone else.
And at times when someone else feels down, they wish they were you.
At times you feel like no one else understands you.
And at times, it's true. No one else understands you.
Difficult situations. Dealt only by the wise.
Difficult situations. We face all the time. What do we do if we aren't wise?
We deal with the difficult situation. We become wise.
A pessimist would say, "I am unlucky to face these difficulties,". Whereas, an optimist would say. "I am lucky to face these difficulties,".

TRUE OR FALSE: Girls mature faster than boys.
True. And still lovin' it.

TRUE OR FALSE: I mature a bit faster than normal.
Fortunately or unfortunately, it is true. And I have doubts about lovin' it too.

If the process of growing up could just slow down a little bit more, I would be 12 years old. I still look 12. Or so that's what my friends say. An 8-year-old even tried to hit on me once. I wonder how old I was to him. But that's not the topic now is it?

Here's what I wish to point out:
Yes, I am the youngest monkey out of four. Yes, the youngest is always a bit more special than the rest. Handled with extra care and pamper. But no, I'm not the youngest one who gets anything she wants. I'm not the youngest one who her parents have to do everything for her. I'm not the youngest one who can't do anything at all. I thank Ibu for giving me trust. It all started when I was 13, I was eager to go to school by myself. From that trust, I gained independence. Of course, I am only 17. Most of the decisions are 50 percent of my parents' thoughts and guidance. But as I grow up, and since I grow up a little bit faster than average (physical aspects excluded. I think the anti-aging look runs in the blood. Or so that's what my sister says.), I need to start making some of the decisions in life on my own. I need more trust from my parents. No, wait. Not just that. I need them to believe in what I can do, rather than thinking about the things I can't. I can't handle doubt. That's an ego problem, I suppose. I remember a friend telling me that women have more ego than men. I believe that now.

I do take it a little bit more seriously when people doubt me. It hurts. And inside, I'm still the youngest. Some words can make myself feel so small until I feel like a little girl again. And I cry. But I get up. I forgive. But I don't forget. See, that's the best part of the brain. It keeps awful memories for life. Only to make us humans a better person. A better human. A useful one to the planet.
And so that I shall be.

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