Good not great. So what?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010 ( 5:06 pm )

Hi. I'm Sya.
I'm also sensitive.
SO PLEASE, respect that.
Lack of respect in the people whom shall I say "disagree with the good, great qualities and events in my life" is entirely a FACT which disappoints me dearly.
Somehow, I am different. I'm not like you. I am blessed with many different ways of thinking. I experience the worst things and I've survived. Don't believe me?
I've survived living in a home without any parental supervision(sounds fun ey? I was too young and innocent to take opportunities like that to throw parties. LOL).

I've survived living in a home without windows and doors.

I've survived sitting all alone in front of the class, with just a single table while everyone else had a desk mate. That lasted a year.

I've survived a robbery. In my own home. The very same day, I went to school. I had an English talk, and I survived that too(washed my face several times during the talk).

I've survived heartbreaks.

I'm surviving not achieving my target, disappointment in a way. And I'm also surviving living in a home without a fridge.

All is well. I can, will and must survive.
You can too.

I've cried my eyeballs out. I kept on rejecting Bapak's calls. I ignored the comfort given by my dearest friends, my beloved Ibu. I ignored my boyfriend for a day, causing him to be all lonely and bored and missing me a lot(I'm sorry and I love you). I almost fell for the trap of "The more the A's the better the feel!", which I believed was long plotted by our dearest Ministry of Education. Nevertheless, it's their job. And it is my job to pull myself together.

I once said to myself, if I achieved my target, all the sorrow, the sadness, that every single bad feeling I've experienced, would be washed away. And that would be the beginning of something good in life again.

But I was a fool, depending on a piece of paper to bring back my happiness. I was a fool, to allow a piece of paper to flush me into tears and make me become so ignorant of how amazing I am without that piece of paper. It took a call from a dear brother, hats off, to tell me how proud he was of me, to make me realize that I did good.

I feel good about myself, when I know, I have the greatest things in life already. It is true, Allah did not give me what I wanted, but He gave me what I needed. The best. I know that I'm not alone. Great people surround me always. Never leaving me. Always having my back, being by my side, letting me walk in front.

Fail trying. Succeed failing.
I need not pleasure, but happiness. And I need not fame, but respect. I am so proud of the people around me, and I am so lucky to sail this hardship. Leastwise, you now know how to survive.

Keep smiling :)

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